I push harder and become more controlling, often burning out or alienating others

I start doubting myself and wonder if I really deserve it

I get distracted by something new and lose momentum

I worry about what others will think and slow down

I raise the bar even higher, making the goal impossible to reach

I defend myself immediately and explain why they’re wrong

I take it deeply personally and question my abilities

I avoid thinking about it and distract myself

I apologize excessively and try to fix everything to please them

I use it as fuel to prove I’m better than they think

Fill it with productive tasks because relaxing feels like wasting time

Feel anxious and don’t know what to do with yourself

Scroll social media or binge-watch TV to avoid thinking

Check if anyone needs your help or support

Plan your next big project or achievement

I rest when everything is perfect, which is almost never

I rest but feel guilty about it the whole time

I “rest” by numbing out or escaping

I rest only when everyone else is taken care of first

Rest is for people who aren’t ambitious enough

Analyze every option until you’re paralyzed by the need to choose perfectly

Second-guess yourself constantly and ask everyone’s opinion

Procrastinate and hope the decision resolves itself

Choose whatever will make others happy, even if it’s not what you want

Make a quick decision and push forward, even if you’re unsure

I focus on what could have been better instead of celebrating

I feel like I got lucky and worry I won’t be able to repeat it

I downplay it and change the subject

I deflect credit to others and minimize my contribution

I barely acknowledge it before moving to the next bigger goal

“This is unacceptable. I should have known better. I need to fix this immediately.”

“I knew I couldn’t do it. I’m not good enough. Everyone will see I’m a fraud.”

“I don’t want to think about this. Let me distract myself.”

“I’ve let everyone down. They must be so disappointed in me.”

“This proves I need to work harder and be better.”

Have high standards and get frustrated when others don’t meet them

Worry constantly about being rejected or abandoned

Keep things surface-level to avoid vulnerability

Prioritize others’ needs over your own, even when it hurts you

Struggle to be present because you’re always thinking about work

Working harder and trying to control everything

Working harder and trying to control everything

Numbing out with food, alcohol, TV, or social media

Taking care of everyone else’s problems to avoid your own

Pushing through and ignoring the stress signals

Asking for help means I’ve failed

I’m afraid to burden others or look incompetent

I’d rather struggle alone than admit I need support

I’m great at helping others but terrible at receiving help

I don’t have time to ask for help—it’s faster to do it myself

The need to do things right and avoid mistake

Fear of failure or looking foolish

Avoiding discomfort or difficult emotions

Wanting to be liked and accepted by others

The need to achieve, prove yourself, and win

Set rigid boundaries and get frustrated when they’re not respected

Set boundaries but immediately doubt if you have the right to

Avoid setting boundaries altogether to keep the peace

Set boundaries but cave when someone pushes back

Set boundaries around your time but not your energy or emotions

I push it to perform and ignore signals to slow down

I’m disconnected from it and don’t trust its signals

I numb it with substances or distractions

I neglect it while taking care of everyone else

It’s a tool to optimize for performance

“It’s good, but it could have been better”

“I got lucky this time”

“Let’s not make a big deal about it”

“I hope this makes everyone happy”

“Good. Now what’s next?”

“I’m constantly striving for perfection but never quite getting there”

“I’m capable but always doubting myself”

“I’m going through the motions but not really present”

“I’m always there for others but feel invisible myself”

“I’m achieving a lot but never feel satisfied”