You’re the person everyone turns to. You’re reliable, supportive, and endlessly giving. But beneath the smiles and the “I’m fine,” you’re exhausted, resentful, and wondering when it’s your turn. You say yes when you mean no. You prioritize everyone else’s needs and ignore your own. You’re terrified of disappointing people, even when it means disappointing yourself.

Your pattern: You sabotage yourself by abandoning your own needs, desires, and boundaries to keep others happy. You’ve made yourself so small that you’ve become invisible—even to yourself.

Why this happens: Your nervous system learned early that your safety depended on keeping others happy. Maybe love was conditional, or conflict felt dangerous, so you learned to fawn—to please, appease, and accommodate. Now, your identity (ID) is built around being needed, and saying no feels like risking rejection or abandonment.

The cost: Burnout, resentment, loss of self, chronic anxiety, and relationships where you’re taken for granted.

What you need: To regulate your nervous system, reclaim your boundaries, and remember that you matter too. You need to shift from “I’m valuable when I’m needed” to “I’m valuable because I exist.”

Your first step: Practice saying no to one small thing this week. Notice the discomfort, breathe through it, and remind yourself: “My needs matter too.”